Be Stronger and More Courageous
I used to fight for a living. Kinda. I used to create workouts centered around fighting an imaginary opponent, or a feeling, or any kind of resistance. The emotional side of fighting, for me and the woman I taught, was difficult at times. It’s hard to be aggressive and commanding and defensive all at the same time. But we did it. A LOT!
Often, one of the scenarios I would use to illustrate how to behave was if someone was trying to kidnap your child. If you were in that situation, how would you behave? How aggressive would you act and think and feel? How courageous would you have to be to protect a child from an aggressor? It’s scary to think about. But it was effective for setting a tone in the room that helped increase the intensity. We could visualize holding onto our kid, or pushing the attacker away, kicking and punching and doing anything necessary to save our beloved.
It was “fun” in the sense that if felt good (positive, confident and strong) to pretend we could defend ourselves or attack if needed. It built confidence that we weren’t weak and helpless with no control over our situation. I miss it. We used to yell “HA!” and “YAH!” and lots of other guttural noises like Serena Williams does every time she serves in tennis. Yelling or making noise while you exercise helps release endorphins and keeps you breathing well. It’s primordial to express yourself without specific words while still communicating clearly. We all knew what we meant when we yelled during a side kick with a down striking punch!
One of my favorite stories I would tell about teaching a fighting format was when my son, who was about 10 and apparently listening to a friend and I talk about how enjoyable it was to teach. My friend asked if I thought I could actually defend myself if necessary. Jackson piped up before I could answer, saying, “She can only kick and punch like that if there’s music on that she can teach to!” And it was kinda true! When I was teaching, I was as aggressive as necessary to portray the format as well as I could. Outside of the studio, however, is another story.
I realized recently that I’m not all that great at confrontation. Who cares why that is, except for the fact that is slows me down and leaves problems unresolved longer than necessary. I wish I was better at it, more assertive and more willing to face issues head on, no matter what. But, I’m not very courageous with difficult problems that take time to solve. I’m great at talking about the issue, explaining my position and trying to convince my opponent why I’m right. But actually saying the hard things, is hard for me. So I keep practicing.
If I’m not careful, that same avoidance of necessary conflict can bleed into other areas of my life. I can quickly become complicit with important things that need to be done in order for my personal wellbeing to improve. You can probably guess where this is going…those habits that are easily let go when it gets a little more difficult to keep up; like exercise, quality sleep, eating enough veggies and protein and not too much sugar and alcohol and etc, etc, etc.
And here’s where the conflict comes to a head. I can’t afford to let my personal wellbeing slip, partly because my career hinges on my ability to move and help other people move. But more importantly, not doing things that are helpful and necessary, even though they aren’t exclusively enjoyable, goes against my innate nature. As I know it does yours. And here is where we have to be courageous.
We have to be willing to fight for ourselves, maybe even against ourselves, in order to be our best selves. We don’t have the liberty to do only what feels good and cozy and easy and comfortable. We have to fight back against all that laziness keeps us from attaining.
I heard one of the best arguments in favor of exercise recently. The speaker was explaining her political position compared to her jujitsu practice, and it was awesome. She realized that the harder she exercised, the more results she achieved. What she did made a difference and mattered. Not because she deserved it or was born with good genes or wanted it more than anyone else or could afford to pay for it. Her fitness improved in direct correlation to how hard she worked. She fought for her fitness against the grain of her apathetic patterns in her past. Exercise is capitalism exemplified.
This conclusion is why we must fight for our fitness (and other valuable things) with courage and strength. It is ONLY in a fight when we understand how worthwhile those character traits really are. Until the conflict, we may only experience courage through entertainment, but when it matters, we realize how much we need it.
If you need strength and courage to live your best life, I’m ready to stand guard for you. I’ve fought this fight for over 30 years and I’m winning it. It’s never over and usually not easy, but I know the right strategies to keep defeating my enemy. And I’m happy to share those with you. Reach out to me if you’re interested in bettering your battleground.
