Do you remember when your mom told you to be grateful for a gift you did not want, ask for or enjoy? She would say, “Say thank you and be grateful.” And then you would pout and talk between your teeth a feigned gratitude that you didn’t mean. I’m sure that wasn’t just me...

But here’s what happens when we fake our gratitude. Nothing. Nothing happens to our hearts, our experiences, our attitudes or our future. Whatever could be gained through gratitude is lost forever. We never get to see things from a different perspective. We never get to grow into a better person because of what we learn. It’s like choosing to watch tv commercials instead of learning a new language (or practically anything else of value). It’s such a waste of time to sit and absorb things to buy instead of use what we already own. And yet, when we are ungrateful, we act like a commercial sucker. Cranky. Entitled. And not much use to anyone.

Gratitude for situations and things that we don’t necessarily enjoy, want or need takes an act of will, not unlike forgiveness. In fact, these two characteristics are linked; we are grateful when we’ve been forgiven. Until then, we can’t see why it matters. When we are grateful for what has been done for us or given to us, we grow in our ability to help others; we actually become useful to the world.

When we refuse to forgive ourselves or others, we separate from the effect of forgiveness: FREEDOM. And freedom, as you know, is exclusive to humanity. People are either free or not. We can be legally free, but bound in our attitudes and behaviors. We can also be locked up, and free in our thoughts and hearts without regard for our surroundings. Freedom, and the ability to act out our will, is the only place we can also feel and express gratitude.

You may not agree with these statements. But I hope you do. I hope you will challenge your idea of gratitude this week and see if you can see the good things in your life. This week, be free and forgiven and grateful. Because you can be.