How to ALWAYS make a change for the better.
The last day of the last year never fails to make headlines, especially for making goals and changes. Without sounding too cliché, we are all more than ready to get on with a new year in more ways than we can count. And when you’re in the goal setting mode, no change seems too big. But, when we’re in the doing part of it, it can feel too heavy, too long, too big, too difficult. It isn’t a big leap to drop our goals before we get there.
I was reminded of this idea while watching the JRR Tolkien story, The Return of the King. In the foreground of the seemingly endless battles of this LONG movie, the little hobbit finally makes it to his destination, only to find that when he arrives, he can’t follow through with what he’s been working on for the length of a 9-hour series! “Come on, Frodo!! Get rid of it!” says Sam, his trustworthy support system. The unexpected happens again, and Frodo can’t finish. He sabotages himself by his unwillingness to discipline himself when it matters the most.
As we watch movies like these unfold, we can all see what needs to be done and it’s terribly easy to be disappointed when the hero acts like a normal human, with all the flaws and setbacks and laziness and selfishness that we know lives inside us. We love looking up to the courageous victor because they inspire us to be better; they do whatever it takes in order to win. When the hero isn’t what we’ve made them to be, we realize we aren’t watching a movie anymore; we’re living real life.
We can all relate, and have been ourselves, on the precipice of change and victory, only to procrastinate one more day or meal or shortcut ourselves out of winning. Most often, the closeness of a goal accomplished is illusive enough to our insight, that we miss it unknowingly. If only we could see it on the big screen and know the end from the beginning, we would finish better.
I’m not sure if you’ve ever started watching a movie long enough to understand the plot, then skipped ahead to the end to see the finish? You skip all the messy parts by doing so, and it’s a short way to get to the point. However, without the messiness and struggles, the end is always less climactic and meaningful. We take for granted, for instance, that the hero always wins and everything works out fine in the end.
If we know this to be true, and it is for the vast majority of stories, why do we even bother with this experience of watching movies or reading books or listening to stories of any kind? Why indeed. Is it not to be reminded that good prevails? That hope springs eternal? That the underdog wins and the bully loses? That Christmas miracles really do happen? That Santa’s sleigh actually does get to every child’s house in one night? Or finally, that even the least qualified among us, can achieve and accomplish goals? I believe so.
This middle of the story is where all the good stuff happens. My sister and I used to call this section “the making-stuff part”. It’s the time when all the work gets done. And this part, the very mundane, sweaty, unglamorous part, is the only part where we have choices. We can’t always choose our beginning, our opportunities, or even how or far we will be able to go. But we can choose that every day we will try. The everyday trying is how to ALWAYS win at our goals. It is the only way.
This is certainly not a new revelation. In fact, I’ve written about this before several times on social media and blogs, but it always bears repeating. No big things every happen without many, many, many little things happening first. No amount of strength or speed or power or weight loss can happen without days and days and days of workouts and healthy eating. And here’s the reason this is good news, especially on days like today, New Year’s Eve: because we all have the ability to do small things.
IF you can commit to a few small things, do them consistently and with your best effort, you will change and change for the better. Think of all the things that you already do everyday (brush teeth, fix hair, shower, make beds, eat, drink, work, sleep, read) just to live. These things probably aren’t on your to-do list and yet you take the time to do them because they’re important. Now, think of the things you need to change and the small step you can take to start getting there. Here’s a short list that almost all of us are capable of adding to our days, and thereby, changing for the better:
Move everyday, no minimums. Just move everyday.
Drink more water.
Prioritize sleep.
Read non-news books for 10 minutes.
Limit social media (or eliminate altogether!)
Pray.
Some could argue that this is lowering the bar too much or that this type of goal setting is only for those who can’t or won’t discipline themselves enough to actually do something big, especially fitness related. However, those who do achieve big things physically parse their goals into daily behaviors just like this. They may have more variables or metrics to measure, and for sure time commitments, but this is how change happens. Small dailyness done in doses we can tolerate and finish.
By the end of next year, I hope we will be like the little hobbit, who in the end of the story, did do the right thing, and became such an inspired adventurer, that he found his best self and the courage to become it.
